May 14th, 2006

posted at 06:03 AM

trainspotting

 

 

 Random Musings of a Pseudoinsomniac

currently listening to: The Perishers - Nothing Like You and I

away is a clearer view..
posted at 09:43 AM in Random

trainspotting

manila grows on you after a while. you miss days that bring a cacophony of sounds, nights that stir as quiet as a cathedral hall. the city of eternal shadows, where broken garish lights never seem to dispel the dark gloom of the streets, sun up or down. the people, they are less shiny, less happy there. when you meet them as they peddle their future along the street, or catch their eyes while you ride the jeep, you can almost see their desperate hearts, all their hopeless desires. manila, she never picks sides. her air will burn down throats, gilded or not, her sweat will dampen silks and rags, her puddles will muddy starched whites and hooker heels. she grants favors with a kiss and a lie. one minute, scarlet lips promise heaven on earth, the next, a dull knife to your back, taking you for all your worth. and you let her, because you'll bargain your soul for another minute of her love.

fragile..
posted at 09:38 AM in Random

trainspotting

this is to remind me in case i forget. the image is clear now, fresh, so unlike his cold pale skin. making me catch my breath, everytime i close my eyes, everytime my mind finds time to pause. as if waking from a bad nightmare. trying to shake the image off, a frozen limb with pins and needles. trying now to hold down my lunch. i remember the profile of his face. the silent scream in my head the exact moment the scalpel tore through the skin. the heart tattooed on his arm. the shame of being there and the audacity of being alive. the mottled redness of meat. the smell of our futures. i never expected to feel that way. like i was witnessing his disgrace. dont think, dont think. forcing myself not to think that last week, the face had a family, a job, someone to love. this is to remind me in case i forget. that there are awful things to learn about death. that nobody stands a chance against threadbare time.

fragile..
posted at 09:34 AM in Random

trainspotting

this is to remind me in case i forget. the image is clear now, fresh, so unlike his cold pale skin. making me catch my breath, everytime i close my eyes, everytime my mind finds time to pause. as if waking from a bad nightmare. trying to shake the image off, a frozen limb with pins and needles. trying now to hold down my lunch. i remember the profile of his face. the silent scream in my head the exact moment the scalpel tore through the skin. the heart tattooed on his arm. the shame of being there and the audacity of being alive. the mottled redness of meat. the smell of our futures. i never expected to feel that way. like i was witnessing his disgrace. dont think, dont think. forcing myself not to think that last week, the face had a family, a job, someone to love. this is to remind me in case i forget. that there are awful things to learn about death. that nobody stands a chance against threadbare time.

only happy when it rains..
posted at 09:29 AM in Random

trainspotting

what my mood needs right now is a good storm. no havoc-wreaking required. no need to uproot trees or relocate families. drown a few livestock maybe. all im asking is a garden-variety tropical depression. nothing like a healthy dose of rainfall and wind to wash this city of its accumulated filth. a muck so thick i drown in it. if im lucky, i will wake up tomorrow to the sound of thunder and raindrops falling on rooftops. a thousand tears turned glass beads. and when the streets are empty and the wet pavements reflect the grey sky overhead, i will close my eyes and pretend i am alone in this world. where everything that has happened hasnt and everything that would happen wouldnt. maybe then id feel everything is as it should be.